A Public Golf Handicap

Golf Quotes
One of the advantages bowling has over golf is that you seldom lose a
bowling ball.
       - Don Carter, pro bowler

My psychiatrist prescribed a game of golf as an antidote to
the feelings of euphoria I experience from time to time.
       - Bruce Lansky

We learn so many things from golf- how to suffer, for instance.
       - Bruce Lansky

If you drink don't drive. Don't even putt.
       - Dean Martin

I've had a good day when I don't fall out of the cart.
       - Buddy Hackett

I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer
spectators.
       - Gerald Ford

It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in
baseball.  I did it in one afternoon on the golf course.
       - Hank Aaron

The only thing in my bag that works is the bug spray.
       - Bruce Lansky

If you don't succeed at first, don't despair. Remember, it
takes time to learn to play golf; most players spend their entire lifetime
finding out about the game before they give up
       - Stephen Baker
 In golf I'm one under; one under a tree, one under a rock, and
one under a bush.
       - Gerry Cheevers

The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you
can't see him laughing.
       - Phyllis Diller

Nobody ever looked up and saw a good shot.
       - Don Herold

I found out that all the important lessons of life are
contained in the three rules for achieving a perfect golf swing:
1.Keep your head down - 2. Follow through - 3. Be born with money
       - P.J. O'Rourke

The more I practice, the luckier I get.
       - Gary Player

I used to go to the driving range to practice driving without
slicing. Now I go to the driving range to practice slicing without
swearing.
       - Bruce Lansky

What a shame to waste those great shots on the practice tee.
       - Walter Hagen

You make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives.
Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands' work.
       - Lee Trevino

My ex-wife has never broken 150. I wish she would stop telling
people I taught her how to play golf. 
- P.J. O'Rourke