A Public Golf Handicap

Golf Facts
1.If you really want to get better at golf, go back
and take it up at a much earlier age.


2.The game of golf is 90% mental and 10% mental.


3.Since bad shots come in groups of three, a fourth
bad shot is actually the beginning of the next group
of three.


4.When you look up and cause an awful shot, you will
always look down again at exactly the moment when you
ought to start watching the ball if you ever want to
see it again.


5.Any change works for a maximum of three holes and a
minimum of not at all.


6.No matter how bad you are playing, it is always
possible to play worse.


7.Never try to keep more than 300 separate thoughts in
your mind during your swing.


8.When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you
can either hit one more club or two more balls.


9.If you're afraid a full shot might reach the green
while the foursome ahead of you is still putting out,
you have two options: you can immediately shank a
lay-up, or you can wait until the green is clear and
top a ball halfway there.


10.The less skilled the player, the more likely he is
to share his ideas about the golf swing.


11.The inevitable result of any golf lesson is the
instant elimination of the one critical unconscious
motion that allowed you to compensate for all
your errors.


12.If it ain't broke, try changing your grip.


13.Golfers who claim they don't cheat, also lie.


14.Everyone replaces his divot after a perfect
approach shot.


15.A golf match is a test of your skill against your
opponent's luck.


16.It's surprisingly easy to hole a 50-foot putt when
you're lying 10.


17.Counting on your opponent to inform you when he
breaks a rule is like expecting him to make fun of his
own haircut.


18.Nonchalant putts count the same as chalant putts.


19.It's not a gimme if you're still away.


20.The shortest distance between any two points on a
golf course is a straight line that passes directly
through the center of a very large tree.


21.There are two kinds of bounces: unfair bounces, and
bounces just the way you meant to play it.


22.You can hit a 2-acre fairway 10% of the time, and a
2-inch branch 90% of the time.


23.Every time a golfer makes a birdie, he must
subsequently make two triple bogeys to restore the
fundamental equilibrium of the universe.


24.If you want to hit a 7-iron as far as Tiger Woods
does, simply try to lay up just short of a water
hazard.


25.To calculate the speed of a player's downswing,
multiply the speed of his backswing by his handicap.
Example: backswing 20 mph, handicap 25,
downswing 500 mph.


26.There are two things you can learn by stopping your
backswing at the top and checking the position of your
hands: how many hands you have, and which one is
wearing the glove.


27.Hazards attract; fairways repel.


28.You can put "draw" on the ball, you can put "fade"
on the ball, but no golfer can put "straight" on the
ball.


29.A ball you can see in the rough from 50 yards away
is not yours.


30.If there is a ball in the fringe and a ball in the
bunker, your ball is in the bunker.


31.If both balls are in the bunker, yours is in the
footprint.


32.Don't buy a putter until you've had a chance to
throw it.
Thanks to Mike Marley